That is very true Hangnbyathread, yet the question is how much validation and proof do we exactly need to stop being that mushroom? Because codependents live in denial, then we snap out of it shortly, then denial again, then we snoop out more "proof," then we deny the proof because the truth is too painful to handle. Snooping may become a vicious cycle leading to nowhere. For me, the urge itself to feel like snooping on someone is a HUGE red flag. If I do not trust him and want to snoop, why bother being in a relationship? My spidey senses are already telling me something.