Thread: snooping
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Old 02-02-2016, 06:30 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Wisconsin
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Oh HH, I was the queen snooper. It was the single most destructive behavior I engaged in, and it took me a looooong time to figure that out and find ways to just stop.

Knowing this information does not accomplish a single thing for you. There is nothing you or your attorney can do to make sure he keeps his job. The excuses he is giving his employer are his. You have zero control over this situation. Like Lexie said, if he loses his job a judge will just impute income to him and what he owes you will just start to accrue. Once he is working again, he would be required to make his regular support payment, plus a payment on the amount that has accrued.

I totally get the urge to snoop. Many of us are raised to believe that knowledge is power, and so the more we know about our alcoholic qualifiers, the more power we must have in the situation. Sadly, that is totally wrong. The only thing "information gathering" accomplished for me was to make me physically ill from the stress of the whole thing. I discovered some very hurtful things via snooping, but NONE of those things were what finally made me leave. I had already suspected every single one of those hurtful things, and having "evidence" of them didn't make me any more likely to finally just trust my gut. The snooping just created an increased need to snoop...to find out everything I could...it was wrong, and invasive, and completely disrespectful of my STBXAH's right to have his privacy and live his life as he pleased. And it turned me into an absolutely crazy human being.

((HUGS)) to you. I agree that the best thing to do is to get rid of that phone, and start working on strategies to end the snooping behavior.
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