hey you lot......
just checking in.....
despite the shambles my life has become over the last year or so of relapse I am grateful that it has brought me again to the point of being sober.
If I was to reflect on past attempts aside from my first initial period of 7 years sober it was always to save something or appease someone or whatever.........
I have known I am an alcoholic since my early 20s and the first time I got sober I felt much the same as I do now.......because my circumstances are such that I have lost many things as a direct result of my drinking over the past few years......and it truly fees like the rock bottom I had all those years ago.......
which puts me in a position to WANT rather than "NEED" recovery.
this I feel is great even though it feels horrible when I survey the mess my life has become.
Thanks for listening, hope it makes sense.
v