Originally Posted by
Soberpotamus 
There must be some good male carers out there. I take your word for it, V. I've just never come across one. But then, I've rarely needed care.
My husband is not a naturally nurturing, caregiver type. He was not raised that way. His mother is tough, had to raise 6 kids alone after her husband died. He told me about a time when he had surgery on a toe and drove himself home. He was an older teen at the time. My mother would have been right there waiting for me. But, his mom probably had to work or had to care for his gradeschool sibs.
Anyway, I had great anger and resentment towards him during and after my pregnancies. My expectations were far different than the reality. But, there is a difference between not being naturally caring or nurturing, but still being very capable of carrying our requests and instructions. My husband can do that, and he did. And, he steps up and does tons for the kids when I cannot, which is a huge help as well. But I did not get back rubs, ice packs, or even a glass of water, unless I would have asked for it.
It seems your Brian is missing both parts. While he may not be naturally nurturing, he does not seem able or willing to follow instructions and meet your needs, even if you tell him exactly what you need.
I think that is the bigger problem. One is an emotional let down, but the latter, is a real problem, in that he cannot get the job done, even when told explicitly how. He seems to have some of his own issues here.
I have not read for a few days, but read the last page and know the general history of your situation from last week, when I read it all.
