Lessons Learned in 70 Days
Today is my 70th day.
10 weeks.
Not that I had held that out as some major milestone - but I have spent much of today taking inventory and looking around.
With apologies to Donald Rumsfeld - here is what I've learned:
What I know that I know:
1. Drinking isn't an option for me anymore. I will die first before I drink alcohol again. It's not an option.
2. If drinking is never an option for me anymore - I'm not denying myself anything - therefore I'm not relying on willpower.
3. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. (i.e. How to Boil a Frog) I realize now that I was circling the drain - and never really knew it. I'm so happy that I stopped.
4. I had done much more physical damage and brain damage to myself than I was aware of.
5. PAWS sucks.
6. I'm a lot stronger than I had given myself credit for.
7. SoberRecovery is a great place to get support and advice. Thank you all!
8. My recovery is going to look like a patchwork of a whole lot of techniques, guides and programs (AA, RR, Smart, LifeRing, SOS, Buddhism, Oprah specials, Law of Attraction, etc., etc.)
9. Continuing self education is going to be the key to #8 above.
10. I have to be more gentle and patient with myself as I go through this. I can be my own worst enemy and over-demanding of myself.
11. The isolation of addiction is one of the most pernicious aspects of the condition.
12. My wife and kids like me a lot better these days.
13. I am on my way to a better, happier, healthier, longer life.
What I know that I don't know:
1. I don't know why it has been so relatively easy so far to quit. I was prepared for more suffering - but I think it has something to do with #1 and #2 in the list above. The absoluteness is comforting.
2. I don't know everything about alcoholism yet. And I probably never will. I thought I knew a lot when I quit. It turns out I didn't know very much about me or my condition.
3. I don't know what life is going to throw at me. But I KNOW that drinking won't be involved.
4. I don't know the person that I am going to ultimately become in my sobriety - but I'm going to have fun finding out!
What I don't know that I don't know...
1. I don't know - but I'll leave it up to you all here at SR to help me find out.
Thank you everybody!