Thump, Odelle and Rally, thank you guys so much. You brought tears to my eyes, your support means so much.
I came home and actually just let my feelings come and go and they did. I am okay now, and the desire to drink is gone. When I told my husband I wanted to drink today he said it was not a good idea and that I had come so far in such a short period of time. He is right. I am not going to let these emotions and my stupid AV get the best of me. It's not an option anymore to get drunk to numb the pain, the sadness and the anger. And it was really cool seeing how all of those feelings changed on their own, once i stopped resisting.
As for taking more "me time" I have talked to my husband about taking turns of Mondays since he is off and DS is in school. Tomorrow he is meeting his cousin for lunch so the following Monday will be MY day. I plan on going to the movies. I miss it so much.
Thank you again for everything. As for the meds luckily I was only on the Wellbutrin for 12 days and don't need to wean off. I will stick to the Zoloft for now and I really need to commit to daily meditation. I love it when I do it but resist doing it for some reason. Maybe my ego is holding me back.
Love you guys.