Thanks to everyone for their support and input. Lilro, your post made me laugh...thank you!!
It's been a couple weeks since I posted this, and (not surprisingly) things have been up and down with AH. The most recent incident ended with him texting me that he wish he never met me. At that point I called my lawyer and told him I wanted to move forward with the divorce. I am out of town for the week, so AH will be served with divorce papers this week.
So, I am getting settled in my new place and moving forward. As sad as I still get, I feel now like the white-knuckle panic feeling is gone (I didn't realize I felt that way until I didn't anymore). That's progress, right?