Originally Posted by
ecm76 
I'm "high functioning" in that I'm still getting good reviews at work, I'm paying my bills, etc. I know that's not enough, but my desire to escape is consistently much stronger than my desire to live a healthy, meaningful life.
I can relate.
I've found it hard to find motivation to stop drinking when I'm not (yet) at the bottom. And yet I know I have to stop. But I also have a big desire to escape.
Are you working on dealing with things in a different way, and having a more meaningful life right now, so the desire to escape doesn't drive you so much? I don't know your situation so I'm only speaking for myself, but for me this is key.