Oh wow ouch...I'm sorry Stung...actually I'm feeling the same exact crazy. RAH has been home from rehab for 4 weeks - sober for almost 90 days. He's lost 30 lbs, works out, into his music, calm, sleeps well. I'm happy for him and know that there are adjustments for us both to make - but yes...I'm the 'active' crazy in the room too. It sucks and hurts but there is value in being able to see it, know it, feel it.
I've acknowledged it to him and am working on my stuff with alanon and self awareness. Hoping that with time and knowledge it gets easier!