I believe there are evil, sick people in this world.
Becoming a parent does not make a sick or evil person well.
One does not get to pick their parent (s).
One does not owe a sick, mean, evil parent anything. Nothing.
It is unhealthy to care for/love a human being that harms you physically, emotionally, verbally & spiritually.
No one is guaranteed another's love and respect, it is earned. If your parent's have not earned your love and respect by treating you with love and respect,get them out of your life and fill it with people who truly care about you and want you to live your best life.
Do not feel guilty for it. Guilt implies you have done something wrong and you haven't. You have done nothing wrong by removing evil, toxic human beings from your life and never let anyone tell you differently. They are toxic as well.
At the very least, have no contact for one year, then re-evaluate.