So many gems in Ken's OP here. I just find this to be so insightful, true, and accurately stated. This whole thread is one for my books.
Weasel, take care of yourself. You are priceless.
Devaluing anything as a sure sign of trouble. Yes. Yes.. The thing we are devaluing, ahead of a relapse ... is our very self, our own life, in some way, large or small. We cannot afford it, just can't afford it.
Exactly: "...I used to live on the outside looking in. I had little influence in my own life. It carried me to and from as it wished. I drank when I did not want to. I drugged when I knew I could do no more. I was its slave. "
So gooood, so specific, so simple. This is indeed a no-secret secret society:
"A sober plan is understanding when you need help. So I am posting. And then eat. Clean myself up and put on clothes I like. Clean my home and take pride in it. Go get food and fill the fridge. Nap when I need it. Get out of the house and be seen. Take care of HALT.
Life is a series of temporary moments. Some last longer than others and yet some are even quicker than I can absorb. I need not take actions that span these moments. I need not do brain surgery with a hammer. "