I am embarrassed. Ashamed. Scared of your judgement. My post was so full of optimism and I was really feeling those things.
I'm drinking again. Out of nowhere. A switch flipped and I just couldn't stop wanting it. I tried everything to think myself out of it. Force myself through it. But in the back of my mind I knew I was going to do it.
Today I'm back home and no longer at my parents. And I fell back into the old pattern. My place, my routines, those are the triggers.
I am so sorry. I let you all down. I feel like a fraud. A fake. But at the same time I couldn't not write this. One thing I want to be is honest about my addiction to you guys. Always.
So with great difficulty I'm writing this, dreading the responses.
Off to delete my sober date from my profile...
