i think mental "obsessions have varying degrees....and some focus inward and others outward. but they all have a pattern of circular thinking.....no matter where our thoughts TAKE us they eventually bring us right back to the same spot. being overly focused on another person takes us out of OURSELVES....it's like being on an acid trip, you swear you can hear colors and see sound and everything around THEM has this mystical floaty aura. and when our brain is on that "trip" we aren't worried about bills, or our ingrown toenail, or that the kid needs braces, or that the roof leaks and we haven't had sex with our husband in two years............
while in order to get better we of course need to stop over thinking or obsessing over some OTHER, we must also get to the root of WHY we make such choices. and learn how to be calm and still within our selves.....learn to live within our own skin. and that takes time and WORK.