It's entirely possible to get addicted to things like sex, love, the internet, whatever.
Obviously you have a need for love, a need for affection and a need for danger that this fantasy is presenting you.
It is a fantasy...and IMO it's not a healthy one - following it up in any way could blow your world, your family, and your recovery apart.
Like Bim, I think maybe a little counselling/therapy might help enfin?
D