Originally Posted by
biminiblue 
enfin, yes I think it is common to obsess over someone who has entered our emotional orbit. I have to guard against obsessing over people, too.
It's all part of the spinning brain of obsessive people, in my opinion. Like C23 said, mindful thought is possible. I have to break obsessive thinking in a lot of areas - food, TV, SoberRecovery, people who have entered my orbit, worry, fear, you get the picture.
If it's that guy...that is really self-destructive. Maybe a little therapy would help. I found it was particularly bad in early sobriety. At about a year, my thoughts became much less anxious and more manageable. It takes some inner work and careful thinking.
It is really self destructive bim, I don't want it.... but it's like a cork, keeps bobbing up... and my brain just won't let go.... I just want calm and peace.
I do however feel better saying it out loud, like it's shrunk it down to the silly unobtainable, not even possible or actually want able obsessive thought. ...
It's been other people before. It's just when blokes are nice to me and appear to fancy me... I'm like an idiot, so grateful to them I end up making a bond which doesn't really exist. .. then spending hours and hours worrying, chewing it over and previously drinking a lot to help! Which it didn't of course!
I wonder if u can get rid of this kind of thing? ??