Originally Posted by
59svj 
I almost feel if I quit drinking, I lose everything. Vicious fight in my head. If I keep drinking, I lose everything, it's happened before.
Re-read this and see the contradiction...thats' your addiction talking pure and simple.
What exactly would you "lose" if you quit drinking - other than hangovers, shame, guilt and all the negative consequences? For some people a good exercise is to actually make a list. Get 2 pieces of paper and on one write down all the positive things that drinking achieves for you. Then write down a list of all the things that you would gain if you quit. Then go back and review them - you might be surprised by what you find.
We all think that we are different when we are still in the throes of alcohol. We assume that our situation is somehow worse than others or that we are the victim of circumstances that somehow make us "destined" to keep drinking. It couldn't be farther from the truth though, and you'll find countless stories of people here on SR who have overcome that myth and gotten sober. Each one of us has the power within to make the choice to quit and make a plan to stay quit.