Hello, friends . . . day 36 here. I have stopped constantly thinking about what day it is, but did put an app on my phone to track it for me, so if I want to be reminded, it is right there. That seems to be helping me relax a little bit.
Met a friend at the pub the other night. He is the first (and only) person I have told that I have quit drinking. He enjoyed his beer and I enjoyed a soda and his company. It was good - I don't know that I want to go there again for awhile, though.
I have a doctor appointment on Friday and I am nervous. More blood tests will be needed for sure. Other stuff may be needed, also. I keep telling myself that I have accomplished great and astonishing things in the past month and I have nothing to be ashamed of for facing up to what must be done to move forward. I am so fearful of judgement - maybe even moreso than I am afraid of what I have done to my body. Ugh.
I remember nights when I would stare into the bottle and know it was hurting me, but also believing that it was the only thing that was keeping me from hurting myself. I actually did tell myself that if I ever did get sober that I would just have to accept that at the time, it was saving my life. That sounds so crazy to me now . . . but I do not know how/if I could have gotten here any other way.
Peace and much respect to you all on your own paths.