Congratulations on deciding to get sober ild666
For most people life isn't easy, it's a struggle, and we in the West have things a lot better than most. Alcohol starts out when we are young as a fun way enjoying social interaction. For a lot of people, alcoholics like me and perhaps people who wouldn't characterise themselves as alcoholics, it then progresses to become fraudulent relief from lifes pressures . Of course it is no relief at all and as you say it invariably makes things worse
It is not easy but I feel it is really important to be coldly logical about where that first drink will lead us ("playing the tape" as it is often called on SR)