Thank you for responding. Where I'm at mentally is prepared to start preparing myself for the worst. I have removed access to him for cash advances. I am planning on opening a savings just to do a direct deposit where our savings will not be easily accessible. That way we can at least have savings separate. It seems that if its easy for him he'll do it. But when it gets to complicated he gives up cause he can't access the funds. He has an old phone that he has at our house. He never deleted anything on it. The other day I was home alone and decided to educate myself on his communication with these people and friends as well. The terminology he uses. I didn't look at his phone to confront but more for educational purposes. So when I looked at his current phone I knew exactly which contacts he was getting this stuff from. Its such a different world for me so unless I had educated myself I probably wouldn't have even known what they were talking about. But anyway I have decided to give him a chance to prove to my and himself but at the same time prepare my exit strategy. My baby is due in April and I'm trying to focus on my well being and bettering our financial situation. I know that if he wants to do it again he will find a way. But it won't be an easy way. I will not be oblivious to his behavior and I will not make money easily accessible to him. Our savings will be in a completely different bank. We will not have debit cards for it. I talked to him already about sitting down and talking about getting our finances organized since baby will be here soon and he agreed. I don't think he thinks I am preparing to exit. And for his sake I may never have to but our financial situation will improve regardless. But if for some reason he does it again.. then at least I am prepared. I love him and I really hope he takes this very serious and decides to stop. But like I told him I've started over before I can do it again. I've reached a point in my life that I have learned to love myself and kids more than another person. I learned the hard way with my ex husband where his issue was cheating. Giving someone too many chances just devalues your self worth when they continue to fail. Sad for my husband but in life I've given way too many chances. This is his last chance. The first was when I first found out. This is his last... And I know it in my heart that I am strong enough to follow through on my ultimatum. The reason I asked if it was an ultimatum in this situation would be a good idea was because I want to help him while he's on his probation. I don't want to push him into more bad behavior. But once he fails if he fails then I am prepared to follow through.