Would a drink help?
I just love the below post. Its so true that even before I started drinking, the way I felt and thought about myself and my circumstances was that of an addict. I believed for a long time that I started drinking alcoholically at a certain time and before that everything was fine and normal and there was nothing wrong. Now I can completely relate to my thought pattern, behaviors and drinking early on leading me to a fatal progression - that can only be seen and understood looking back years later. I could have never been able to predict the progression that my alcoholism was going to take. Grateful for my sobriety.
DAILY REFLECTIONS January 18
WOULD A DRINK HELP?
By going back in our own drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 23
When I was still drinking, I couldn't respond to any of life's situations the way other, more healthy, people could. The smallest incident triggered a state of mind that believed I had to have a drink to numb my feelings. But the numbing did not improve the situation, so I sought further escape in the bottle. Today I must be aware of my alcoholism. I cannot afford to believe that I have gained control of my drinking — or again I will think I have gained control of my life. Such a feeling of control is fatal to my recovery.