Olivia2011 - it's just a website.
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
If you search the name it comes up and you just register for free. I've only done the first bit so far. It gives you exercises to do along the way. I'm usually too impatient and will rush through stuff but I'm trying to let it sink in before I move on. You are right about my OH. He got made redundant the first time about 6 years ago and nothing has gone well since. He does try but doesn't seem to ever get anywhere and of course as time goes on it just get worse and worse. He's been doing a lot of volunteer stuff and as proud of him as I am about that it doesn't pay the bills. We have 3 children and I'm trying my best to keep them out of it and to keep life as normal as I can for them but it's hard. He's looking into setting up a business but even if that goes well it will be a long time before he gets any money from it.
I've started binge eating. The last couple of nights I've had an hour or 2 to myself and have just eaten loads of chocolate, cake, crisps - anything I can get my hands on. My addictive behaviour has just moved on to food.
I keep waking about 4am. I wake up feeling very anxious and then all the negative thoughts just start whirling round my head. In the past I would have stayed awake and just got up about 5 for work but I've been letting myself fall back to sleep. It means I've been getting in work later than normal but I'm not busy so it's not affecting anything and I don't have anyone to answer to. Anyway this morning I made a promise to myself that I would take care of myself today - good food, some exercise and to try and keep positive.
Thump I love the idea of keeping a journal but I'm always worried someone will find it and read it and I'm not very good at getting things out in words. My brain is more scientific/mathematical not creative or artistic in any way. Maybe it might be worth a try though. Set a diary up online and use that to get everything out - stuff I just can't say out loud.
Tuesday morning here and I'm sat at my desk ready for the days work. If I could have any wish granted I wish I could be so inundated that I had to work long hours to keep up with it all. As it stand I'll be going home early afternoon to get my kids from school and I am grateful that I can do that, I know many don't have that option.