Lola...
Welcome to the Board. I'm really sorry for what has brought you here. But you've found a good place, and I'm happy you took that big step to post. Others will be by to greet you in due course, but until they do, I'd like to share with you my thoughts.
Spousal abuse, whether it is emotional or physical, is simply unacceptable. There is nothing you could ever do to warrant that kind of abuse. It is not your fault. It is
his fault.
Sadly, Lola, we see this from time to time here at FFSA. When that kind of behavior is convolved with drug addiction, it's simply awful...for the loved one, and for any children who are caught in the middle of it.
We have a lot of women who've been through the wringer with abusive husbands. I will defer to them, their wisdom, and their strength. But I'll leave you with this: if you feel that you are physically at risk, do not hesitate to call 911.
I have also included a link that may be of interest to you.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...sed-woman.html
We're in your corner, and we'll support you in any way you believe to be helpful. Please be safe, and again, Welcome to the Board.