Looking at the last 30 plus years where I drank as a waste is not my desire.
I was a party animal. It was my culture. Alcohol was my way of life. My family's way.
It was also integrated into my entire military career.
I quit because I wanted to get in shape and I was too much of a drunk to do it.
I nearly collapsed one day after a work out. It was traumatic for me. So I tried to quit. I knew I could easily go back to drinking, but I would have had to cut down getting in shape. I wanted to be in shape more.
When i got to about 30 days clean, I realized I was in deep water. The anxiety was maddening. So, I became educated.
Now I fight the AV I created. It is tough, but I am winning. I am tough. To drink as hard as I did, for as long as I did, I had to be tough.
So...I said all that to say this....I enjoyed my drunken days. I know I was lucky I didn't get in trouble.
I am learning to enjoy being sober. It is like learning to live again.
It is a challenge because I routinely have to convince myself why drinking is a dumb idea, My mind is like a broken record....Fighting the AV.
It has gotten easier. Thank God.