I am so sorry for your hurt.
I recommend that you go 100% no contact with him. That will help. You don't need to know what is going on in his life, that is not healthy. Do things for you. Get up, find something that interests you. Talk to other people who are interested in doing that as well. Painting nights have become a thing here, and people are having raving fun. Whatever it is, just do things for YOU.
You deserve more, but you have to get past the grief (and that is what you are feeling, grief), and move forward to work on you, your life, and your wellbeing.
Many hugs.