I'm so sorry you're grieving tonight, TimeForMe. I believe, time will heal some of your wounds.
Please know, you won't always feel this badly. You did the right thing, but it hurts.. of course it does! Leaving your home, your pets, and yes, even the man you slept beside for 18 years is an adjustment, to say the least.
Please be kind to yourself, you're not alone.
HHTexas, sending you hugs too.