Originally Posted by
patricia68 
I'm beating myself up today. I know it's not helpful...I am just frustrated. I know I improved a lot since I first joined SR. But I keep struggling, I keep reaching for a drink after 5-6 weeks sober. I keep thinking there's no hope for me. I keep thinking that the best years of my life are over and all there's left is just to survive. I keep slipping even though I know the consequences are more anxiety and depression. I'm determined until my heart starts pounding and a wave of panic paralyzes me and I reach for the easy quick solution. I am my own worst enemy...
Don't beat yourself up, Patricia! I know exactly how hopeless this can feel like - as if there is nothing to look forward to but misery. I have a problem keeping sober longer than a month and it's a constant struggle. I am trying to think that these feelings of how "the best days are behind us", is just because we are still so affected by this depressant...I really do think there are much better days coming for you, Patricia, and for all of us. I really do think we can reach that light in the end of the tunnel, maybe even stronger than we ever were before.
Don't give up, we will pull this through together!