Other than that, I am trying to accept my past. I am now thinking of my alcoholism as something that would have gotten to a really serious level sooner or later no matter what. Like something I had to go through, a kind of physical and mental destiny if you will.
Because of certain events in my life, I reached a really low point around the age of 30. Even though I feel regrets about that, I knew it was coming. In other circumstances, maybe I could have been a high risk moderation drinker for many more years and then ended up getting my low point at 40...or 50.
But it happened now, and I should in some ways consider myself lucky. If I can pull this through and get sober for real, I can hopefully have many more years spent in a better way.
It's still hard to accept how low I've let myself sunk, but now is not the time to dwell on the past. I think I am slowly starting to accept it.