People like us can't smell the roses with a drink in our hand, unfortunately.
I hope the picture you hold in your mind of dialing back is ultimately alcohol free--
I think it's great you've got a solid action plan--I have one too
and it has been invaluable to me building sobriety time.
I was really afraid to stake out a plan for "lifetime sobriety"
even in the privacy of my own mind.
I think it is akin to the fear you are talking about as you are embarking
on a new phase of your life. . .
I've also achieved a fair bit in life like you, and perhaps
the fear we both feel is that our Chapter 2 won't be as good as our Chapter 1 was,
both in success and "fun factor".
Do think you maybe are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be
the old Jeff while the new Jeff struggles to be born?
The sober you who never drinks again will be a different person
in important ways.
I thought a lot about this--who will that Hawkeye be, and will I
like her? Would my family and friends want to spend time with
the person I morph into, or will I be too far away from their
idea of pleasure and leisure-time activities to connect?
But in the end, I have taken the plunge and pledge for total sobriety from now on.
I don't know what's coming, but I do know where I've been with booze
and too often it wasn't a good place.
I think for the first time I'm really getting that someone like me just
can't go back in time and have a do-over to drink moderately ever again.
My earlier posts to you haven't been meant as admonishment, but identification.
We've both been down the rabbit hole with the negative consequences of drinking, and lived to tell the tale.
That was Chapter 1 for me, good and bad.
I plan to give that Chapter 2 100% effort, and I can't do that if I keep going
back to Chapter 1. It just doesn't work.
Good luck with your action plan Jeff--I have learned a lot from your posts
and your story.