Don't beat yourself up DT, instead get a plan together, and push forward!!
For me good intentions, hoping, trying never really worked instead I needed a plan of action in place, revolutionise my decision making, the activities I got involved in, the people I hung out with, Sober tools in the toolbox for stressful situations, and a ton of daily support to keep me focused on the task at hand.
I went round and round the drinking merry-go-round for a long time, mostly due to not changing anything, and from experience, nothing changes if nothing changes!!
You can do this!!
