Dear 99, you are in a really scary place right now. I know how terrifying and shameful blackouts are. I feel for you. You listed a lot of reasons why you might not have a problem, like work or friendships, but lots of us call that your Alcoholic Voice (AV) trying to give you reasons to drink. If you are wondering if you have a problem that is a big sign. No one can really decide but you but think about what kind of life you want to have. Sending you hope. John