Hi Jeff
I can't really think of anything new to tell you.
It looks like you've really gotten into a cycle of not drinking for a while, then drinking...
then coming here to unburden yourself, confessing your sins, and then...well that's pretty much it til the next drink.
That's not good for you.
I'll say it again - I think you have a self image problem - your mental image of Jeff is still Jeff the drinker.
You really need to think about that, and about the cycle you're in, or you risk going back to where you used to be, man.
D