Thanks! You guys really are the best. You get it. You totally get it.
I sent an email to the man who will be my recovery coach to let him know I'm struggling with this...but I'll bet he already anticipates that.
The treatment I'll be receiving has been very effective for others in stabilizing and improving their moods, so I look forward to that.
I am using humor, pointing out to myself that I'm anthropomorphizing alcohol, giving it feelings as if it were a person. I'm reminding myself that I've left toxic relationships before (funny how those are sometimes that hardest to let go) and quickly felt relieved. I'm going to start romanticizing what it will be like to feel healthy, get my looks back, and maybe someday meet a charming gent who is not a user/boozer. Fancy that!
I'm going to get the book recommended here, and add it to my reading list during the 10 days I spend hooked up to an IV. And, I'm going to optimistically plan to start an exercise program during my detox. They tell me I will be feeling quite spunky in just a few days and if that turns out to be true....why not hit the hotel gym?
I'm not a bad catch and I'm pretty sure I can find a better lover than alcohol.