So many great posts to catch up on tonight, I love it!
Solow-I think (when the time is right) it will really make you feel good to be upfront and assert yourself with your siblings. Drinking causes our self-confidence to suffer, and therefore so do our backbones and our boundaries. I think removing alcohol can really make you stronger (in time, of course).
Kittycat, If you are isolating, I don't think there is anything wrong with that.- within reason. I find if I don't have my alone time or if I feel pressured to do things rather than stay home, I get flustered and lose my center. Enjoy your night at home, it's safer anyway!
As I was putting decorations away in the attic today, I came across a box I had forgotten was up there...It was a collection of pictures, photo albums, letters, greeting cards and all sorts of memorabilia of my life from my baby years all the way through college. Seeing some of it, remembering the "old me", the 8 year old little girl's diary, letters from childhood/teenage friends/boyfriends...you name it....at first, put me off a little. At 45, that seems like a lifetime ago, and I just felt uncomfortable with it all in some way, yet couldn't wait to go through it all. As the day went on, and I shared a lot of it with my daughters (we had some laughs!), I began to accept it as part of me, and began to feel really, really grateful to be the age I am now, much more calm, simple, resolved...and even wise. How does this relate to alcohol? Honestly, at first, seeing all that stuff made me just want to drink as I went through it all, to kind of smooth all memories and feelings. But I moved from being uncomfortable with it, to an acceptance and even some empathy for myself. None of that would have happened if I drank today. I just would have gotten all emotional and sloppy and made no sense of any of it.
Well, I think that was my BUMOS for the day!
I am very happy to not be drinking. I jogged almost 2 miles today (quite feat for nonathletic 45 year old me), and ate healthy. Tomorrow is my last day of vacation. I have spent many "back to work - eves" drinking as a way of denying to myself that vacation is over or for my one last hurrah. And boy would I pay for it the next day. Unprepared, exhausted, hungover, looking awful. That will NOT be me on Monday, I promise myself.
In weak moments when my AV tries to pop in, I am firm in my resolve and reminder to myself....I have made a commitment, and I 'm sticking with it. No matter what. I know some tough days are ahead. We can all do this.