New and in need of kindness and support.
Today was a huge struggle after being on a disastrous binge drinking session that left me feeling utterly ashamed and hopeless. I relapsed after some months of continuous sobriety last year on Easter Sunday and had been spiraling downwards for the past 9 months. I burned too many bridges and my disorderly behavior has exhausted whatever kindness my friends may have felt for me. Concern has turned into annoyance. I really don't have anyone to really talk to about this that can understand and relate.
Today, after marinating in shame and regret I realized this is my chance and invitation to finally make a change and recommit fully to sobriety. This could be my rock bottom that I've been waiting for. The one that finally propels me to get cleaned up and back on the path that my Spiritual nature yearns to walk.
But I need your help. It's certainly easy for me right now to want to recommit to sobriety because I am still freshly feeling the repercussions of my alcohol abuse. I want to hold myself accountable when the pain subsides. I need support and encouragement and other people to help me keep myself accountable.
Slowly, I begin to feel a spark of hope. There's nothing left for me in the party world and the endless oceans of vodka and back and forth mood swings of depression and shame. I hope this is my chance and this is the time I finally overcome the prison of my addiction once in for all.
Thank you for listening and I wish you well on your path as well! Good luck.