Like red said, there is always hope but as its said around here- hope is not a plan
Often when its announced that we are leaving they seem to then jump on some kind of recovery plan
Kind of like grounding a child until they clean their room, the child starts cleaning with a gusto, we think its going great so we head out to the store only to come home and find them playing, room still a mess but they want credit for at least trying .
It takes a long time for an alcoholics journey towards "real" recovery Months and months and months- not days, not weeks but months moving towards years.
What I have witnessed often is, similar to a house being on fire- the smoke alarm goes off (you announce you are leaving because of his drinking) everyone rushes out (to AA, al-anon) the fire is now out and a false security is in the air and we rush right back into the house (marriage, relationship) Often what we fail to take into account is time to make sure we are re-entering a safe and secure place.
If I go back and correct anything about my past relationship with an A it would be NOT going back into one. I witnessed him going to rehab for 30 days, a step down program for a few months, living in a sober recovery house for another few months and I thought after all of that he would be done but my story like so many others didn't end with a happily ever after that included his sobriety. Had I only either left or waiting a longer period of time before going back into the relationship, more would have been revealed and I would have made a healthier choice for myself
Its not often you hear an alcoholic say "I need to get sober for me and if I lose you in that process I'm sorry but I really have to do this for me."
Usually its "I'll do anything not to lose you or the kids, I need you to help me and support me through this." Which translates into - guilt and manipulation so that YOU are responsible for his recovery and not him.
Always put your head first when dealing with an alcoholic? What you see and hear with your mind is what you see and hear
What you feel is with the heart and feelings are not facts