I'm reading this for the first time now. I felt uncomfortable being around strangers and had a huge need to be liked. I was insecure and felt undervalued. I drank to fit in, to relax, to feel good. I didn't always get drunk, or sick, or black out. I could moderate sometimes. But some times when I drank I couldn't stop. And alcohol was always at the back of my mind when I'd go out in the evening or to an event. I'd feel I was missing out.
That described my drinking when I was in my twenties. It got substantially WORSE as time went by. I could have nipped it in the bud back then but I was in for twenty more years of ever increasing craziness. Until I drank every day almost all day. You may be on the fence right now. But you recognize that there is a problem. Back in my twenties, I was an idiot. No one drank like me but I thought I was normal.
Rethink the party. Take care of yourself and work on liking you. People are drawn to others who like themselves. You are likeable. You just have to believe what we know.