Bim, thank you. I had less than two months. Clearly not enough. I can accept that I failed to protect myself long enough to have a solid, well-formed decision. I can deal with the faith part. I trust the experience and people on SR.
Building a sobriety that I care deeply about cannot be just from fear of consequences...building a sobriety/sober life seems more like building a fire with wet wood. Takes longer than you think and is easily snuffed.
Until then, one decision or choice at a time.