Hey everyone,
Im just checkin in. Its been a freakin rollercoaster ride since Thanksgiving for me. Im not boo hooing about my situation at all. It just sux. I have had my son, his other, and gkids living wth us again. Its unbearable.
Christmas should have been a happy time, but it sucked. Not because of drinking at all. The prblms Go Way deeper there, then any drink. They being so poor, decided the gifts we humbly bought for the kids,wasn't equal. Wtf is tht? Poor pple sucking off their parents at age 33& 31, shldnt call the shots. Its not going to happen anymore. They have lived here before. On and off for seven years.
I was so disgusted, I didnt even see my gkids, open the gifts. It has NOTHING to do with drinking. They are impossible straight. They all need to be medicated , not me. Do they drink too? Hell yes. They just took back one of the girls bikes today, to get some hooch. I couldn't fckin believe it! I thought my few binges were bad, but hell No! I would never take back my kids Christmas gift, to get my fix. This is the true alkie, addict. I have never been so low.. and I read here, all the time about hitting rock bottom. Unfreakin unbelievable. ..
Have I drank a bit to get thru? HELL yes. Its just not the answer. Its a **** poor coping mechanism, I have to let go. For me, it goes deeper too.
Im so hurt, Im angry, Im depressed. This is the worst Christmas I can recall. Im not well, Im older, I know better. I see the sin of ugliness, greed, and addiction so bad now. Especially the sin of pride, and ego. I judge people alot, but I see alot of sin in my own heart, and soul.
I would never ever sell my hard earned stuff to get my fix. I swear by all that's holy, they would sell my blood, its o neg. That says enuff.
As much as I care, they need to move. My heart as a gma screams out to save the kids. I will as much as I can.
Happy New Year all.