Same thing happened to me with my mom's codependency when I first got into the program. It was like I was so aware of all these behaviors that I just started noticing things I had never really noticed -- or at least never noticed and understood -- before and it was irritating and frustrating. Partly because codependent behavior is irritating and frustrating to those around it and partly because I wanted to "help" her out of it. My solution was just to keep reminding myself 1) not to go there with her 2) not to get into it with her about it and 3) fake being calm about both of the above until I actually made it to the point where I usually was calm.
Now it doesn't bother me so much anymore and I can really be very calm and intentional and detatched about not giong there -- sometimes that really tweaks her, but that's about her not me.
Again, patience and gentleness with yourself around this is important -- especially because people who are used to being able to get you to interact with them in a certain way will be umcofortable when you change and often they will escalate their own behavior to try to get you back to what they're familiar with. So I'm not saying any of this is easy or happens quickly, but it will happen with patience and perserverence over time.
freya