Perhaps the therapist sucked and you can find one that works for you? Do they have AA there?
I know you lost a baby and your wife. That's a pain that we as parents aren't supposed to bear because we are supposed to die first, but it happens. It is heartbreaking, but it happens.
Now you're at a point where you can let that loss destroy the rest of your life or find a way to heal. You'll never forget the loss of your baby, but you can still live a full and happy life. Please stop punishing yourself. You're not responsible for the loss of your baby. Drinking to ease the pain just won't work Canguy!
You obviously have the resources to get quality help, I hope you decide you're worth using some of that $$ to get the help you need. We think you're worth it!