It's been 28 days and my B is moving into the halfway house that is connected to the rehab. I haven't spoken to anyone in the family about him in a while except to hear from our dad the other day. Dad, sis, and B's mother went to a family Christmas gathering event at the rehab. Dad said it "went well." I wrote him another letter and will be sending it out shortly:
I hope you got through the holidays okay without too much loneliness. I don’t know if you know, but Aunt cancelled Christmas this year (first time in over 20 years!) because of all the stress and craziness in the family of late. I was thankful to get a break and just spent the day with [husband] and J (our dog). I made green bean casserole to go with our dinner. I have never made it before but because it reminds me of you, I felt that it was very important to make it. Do you remember how much you love green beans?
Anyway….of course I have been thinking of you constantly and hoping your recovery is going well so far. I have to say, because Dad certainly seems clueless, that you have a very long road ahead of you. Everything that I have learned about meth/amphetamine (yes, you had that in your system, so whether you are aware of it or not, you had been using it) is just so scary.
The withdrawals and cravings for it must be intense and you’ll probably be wanting to substitute with anything that is going to release dopamine (sugar, caffeine, etc) to even get a tiny effect on the “pleasure” receptors of the brain that are largely affected by meth/coke/all drugs basically. It takes an average of 18-24 months before the brain returns to normal. 1 out of 4 of meth users attempt suicide. Meth users commit murder and aggression is one of the common side effects (I saw it when I was there with you in NJ this summer. You weren’t just “mean” to me but scared the **** out of me.)…. Etc etc etc…. Needless to say, that K2/spice **** is just as bad. One guy on it strangled his dog and ate it.
Listen, Dad is clueless and I really hope that he stops “enabling” you. I know that you have been caring enough to respect my wishes about keeping detached because (I hope) you understand that it is for my own peace of mind and mental health. I don’t think Dad has the wherewithal to set boundaries with you that will help you become as independent as you really need to be. Do you get what I am saying? Dad obviously does not handle things in a healthy manner, with his alcoholism and all, and I am really afraid that any more trauma is going to give him a massive heart attack. In a nutshell, I am asking you to step up here and do whatever you are able to do to stay away from the old patterns, for yourself of course and for him.
Lastly, I know that meth/heroin/etc withdrawal can be very painful and long lasting. I hope you can take advantage of everything that the program you are at can offer you. I think it is especially important to use the help of the social workers. I hope you are thinking long term (housing, health insurance, etc.) as that is essential to survival.
Anyway, you know I love you, as does Dad and the rest of the family. We are rooting for you and will never stop.
Love,