Originally Posted by
Jenses 
So sorry to hear about your evening - that is tough. I only have 3 weeks under my belt so can only comment on my limited learning and experience. Biggest thing for me is putting myself first - I am ultimately in charge of my sobriety and my healing. That means sometimes making difficult choices for the bigger win (intentionally avoiding triggers) which may seem hurtful to others at times. It may sound cruel, but friend was not concerned regarding your recovery and chose to put herself first. Perhaps something to consider is how much you value that specific relationship if there is a blatant disregard for your wellbeing. I get that she didn't chose sobriety, but there should be a conscious effort to support you by not testing your limits and putting you in a trigger situation. I know a few people in the Dec class have written about friends and drinking so hopefully they can jump in here. In the meantime, day 1 is a good place to be - fresh start and a greater understanding of your triggers which you can use going forward. Hang in there.
This is a critical area for me, how to handle friends that were Either just drinking buddies or good friends, that drink like normal people.
Here is my simple way of looking at it that has worked for me so far. If I have. A friend that I have only seen when drinking (ie we don't do non drinking things together also) then they are a drinking buddy irrespective of how close I used to think we were. They need to go, if not permanently, at least for a while. They will gravitate to other drinkers soon enough. I have told them I am "off the beer" and busy. We chat on social media.
Friends that are "normal drinkers" I continue to see but mostly doing non drinking things together (I bring the family along). I think we get a little paranoid as alcoholics and think "my god, what will they think if I say I am not drinking?" Will they know I am an alcoholic, the shame!! Actually, they don't mind, don't care. The alcoholism is in our heads and not theirs. I simply told them I want to get a bit fitter, lose some weight and that I am trying to eat clean and have dropped the booze. That's it, no further issue from them.
What I absolutely certainly will not do is meet a drinker to catch up in a bar/pub. In my opinion in this early stage of recovery that is the same as taking the first sip. That's how the AV works...."hey what's the harm in meeting X? It's just catching up, you don't have to drink, you have not seen X in months, come on!" Whatever.
Day 28 here and eyeing Friday when I will have a month behind me. Yeah!