The first time I ever drank alcohol was Christmas Eve 1983, I was 14 years old and at my grandmothers house. There was always champagne flowing and this year my older brothers girlfriend decide she would sneak me some. We ended up running out and her and I took my brothers truck and drove to the store to get more...that's the last thing I remember until later that night me throwing-up as my sister held my head up so I wouldn't fall into my own puke after we got home. I had blacked out the very first time drinking and this should have been a sign, but no, it was only the beginning!
30 plus years later, 3 DUI's, numerous alcohol and drug related arrest, a titanium plate holding my skull together after a drunken accident led to brain surgery, scars all over my body and destroyed relationships you'd think I would have learned a lesson. But, today on the 32nd anniversary year I will struggle as the disease inside of me will fight with everything it has to cause me to drink again.
When people tell me to just 'man up' or 'drink like a man' and assume that alcoholism isn't a disease I can't help but think back on my life and know inside that if there was a way to drink normal, I would have by now.
Not sure why I'm sharing this now, never really thought about it, but here's hoping we make it another hour, day and year in sobriety.