Wow, sounds so much like my past year. I came to the realization that this wasn't working--and first he exploded in anger...then came back to talk it out--when I held my ground that I needed space he got angry again--and has since sent me loving, encouraging, hopeful texts multiple times each day. If I didn't know better I'd believe that he's undergoing massive change right now. But I also think he must be in major denial about what's actually happening...and waiting for me to "get over it"...
What I do know is that only time will tell.
I also know that I was very honest during the past year, and it wasn't until I made him move out that he apparently took my words to heart. Before then he ignored them and refused to act. A friend told me yesterday that he probably didn't think I'd ever really leave him because we had talked about "forever"...for me, that made it worse. (I never threatened it.) If I have to leave for him to decide to act, then even if he succeeds, it isn't for me.
That sure makes me sad. But this ain't my first rodeo. When I met him he knew I wouldn't do addiction again, and lied about his own (because he didn't believe it and had "quit"). When he crashed I was already too involved with him and his kids and felt I had to see it through. But I can't tell you how free I feel now. Sad and guilty and free.
Do what you need for YOU, and know that it's right. Let the bad feelings wash over and leave you. You're in charge of your life, and time keeps ticking!