my ability to moderate sometimes suggests I don't have a terrible problem.
Sometimes I could drink and stop.
Eventually I lost that ability, but for many years it was the case that sometimes I could do that.
There were many other times I couldn't control it - even when I had very good reasons to do just that....
but man did I cling those those times I controlled it - that was 'proof' to me that moderate drinking was an option for me.
Nonsense.
The bottom line is I had a
terrible problem that wrecked me for decades- trying to kid myself my problems were not that bad did me no favours EP cos it led me back time & again to the pub and 5, 10, 15 pints....