Thank you for sharing this. I do something similar when I have cravings. I remember how I felt right before I quit for good. I Remember how powerless I felt and the shame and lies I was so buried in. I remember the stomach pains and the heart palpitations and how I literally felt like I was dying. Drinking made me do crazy things... I remember how I used to inspect the color of my poop to see if it was showing signs of liver/pancreas failure.
Remembering these things remind me that drinking will never make any of my problem better or easier to deal with. Thank god I don't have to feel the way I used to when I was drinking ever again.