A dream can absolutely be lost. I get that. I was in a similar situation. I've had two incredible dream jobs that will never happen again: one because the company closed, the other, later, because I had become a drunk. Either way, those doors are both closed now and I couldn't get over my grief. For several years I was a complete mess.
But then I stopped drinking. And the first month was hell and I couldn't see any kind of future. The grief got worse because I couldn't hide from it.
But then I found out: I had those amazing dreams in the first place because that's who I am. I'm a dreamer, and someone who makes those dreams real. And so are you! You wouldn't be grieving right now if you didn't have that creativity and ambition. You lost because you made a leap. That's something to be proud of.
I'd become a drunk, so that side of me was just sedated and gone. I was clinging on to the same dreams, the last ones I'd had before I went under. When I lost those, I didn't have the capacity to make new ones.
But then quickly, when I got sober 5 months ago, I started to make them. And then I started to act on them, because it was just natural for me to do that. I stopped being a drunk and started being the person who'd gotten those dream jobs in the first place.
My plan right now is nothing at all like what it was 6 months ago, but I'm in love with it and it's really happening. I climbed through a window, through a crawl space, and started pushing open doors. Because when I'm not sedated, that's the kind of person I am.
Please stop drinking. You need your brain fully awake to find your next dream. You will cope with the grief for what you lost because you'll be building something new.