Hi Loulou, I am in the same boat in that this will be my first sober Christmas since I was a teenager and have the same anxieties. You are not alone.
I have been struggling with the whole Christmas thing (I am coming up to 4 weeks sober), and more so the closer we get.
Gonna miss all that booze.... but then when I think through it, am I really?
Am I going to miss being too buzzed to have a meaningful conversation with my kids? Am I going to miss falling asleep after dinner and missing out on half the day? Am I going to miss feeling like crap when I wake up later that evening, but nevertheless ripping open yet another bottle *as soon as I can*? And am I going to miss waking up the next morning, feeling even worse than I did the evening before, and not actually remembering most of the day?
No, no, no, no!
Whenever I get the thought that Christmas Day will not be "right" without a drink (maybe I could have "just the one - its Christmas after all") - and that is happening several times a day now - I just fast forward the tape and I realise that I definitely don't want to be in THAT place.
And as a result I am in many ways really looking forward to Christmas Day - looking forward to focusing on what Christmas Day is all about and not where the next drink is coming from.