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Nice one,
Tetra!
The Vardo Trailer in your Pic has a solid following in the Tiny House Universe. They certainly ooze Charm...
- Vardo Trailer/Tiny House Pix -
Da Wife was very happy today with the new Hair Salon she went to ~1 hour Drive away. Beats a 5+ Hour Drive back to Boulder in potentially-wicked Weather every 6 Weeks.
We got around to
The Big Talk over Burritos she brought Home for Lunch: Alcohol + Boundaries. I caused it; quite by design. She'd Texted about going to see 'Spectre' tonight at a Theater that serves Alcohol. I Texted back that 'it sounded good to me so long as it's an Alcohol-free Evening'. I've learned the hard way to state expectations in advance in order to not get blindsided. Charlie Brown, here, is done kicking that Football.
Sooooo, she asked me about that Text over Lunch, and why there was the sudden 'shift' in my attitude toward Alcohol? A: 'Your increasing over-consumption'. An entire Bottle of Wine/Night repeatedly while RVing. An entire Bottle of Champagne Thanksgiving Night in some sort of 'I'll show me' style while drinking
at me. I cited miserable Evenings involving over-consumption last year that took her DrunkAzz GF off my Socializing Dance Card as a Four-Some that could ever work again. I gave a few more examples where pertinent. No defensiveness, which helped a lot.
A lot more area was covered - like Summer BBQs with Guests - but I'll skip that here. She offered to move out if I was not happy. That approach has come up a few times before: all or nothing. No suggestion of Marriage Counseling, or talking it out.
I laid out how inexcusable it would have been for me to hop on a Spinning Bike set up at the foot of her rented Hospital Bed ~2 Years ago after she'd had both Knees Replaced. I used that as an illustration of what Spousal Support looks like. I kept reiterating that I know what Spousal Support looks like, and that limited Drinking around here ain't it. However, I didn't foreclose that possibility forever. I did note that, in Sobriety, one separates Holidays from 'having' to drink during them. I pointedly deconstructed the falsehood that her 'right' to Drink somehow equals my right to define my Sober existence, and solely define Boundaries. This entire discussion is going down in addition to her 'unquestioned' ~3x/Day Pot smoking.
I asked if it would be any big deal for her to quit Drinking for a Year for Health Reasons under Doctor's Orders [say, an onset of Pancreatitis]. A: 'No, of course not'. I drove my proverbial Truck through this opening that her quitting for a while to be supportive is no different, then. Nor is accommodating a Gal Pal for Dinner who is Gluten-intolerant. That is, skipping Gluten
or Alcohol can be considered equal 'non Issues' that aren't some great put-out. It's all about Mindset. I'm working to deconstruct the 'Special Status' that Alcohol is assumed to enjoy.
Quite the challenge...
Several substantial 'Lines In The Sand' were established [I think], so that was reassuring. The Devil will be in the details, but it was a good Chat to help de-stress the Holidays, and lay future, pragmatic Groundwork.
Me = 1. Chances of Relapse = 0.
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