I was on the fence for years and even when I though I got off and chose a side, I somehow found myself back on the fence. You know why? Because I was never really off of the fence, I was pretending to be off, hoping that I would get the reaction that I so desperately wanted. It took for me realize that I was worth much more than what I was allowing myself to experience. I realized that I still had my youth and my health but most importantly, I had 2 beautiful children that I brought in to this world. They deserve the best I can give them and although my AH is their father and I would never keep them from him, I realized that I was not giving them the best life as long as he kept us on the roller coaster. I was tired of my relationship revolving around his emotions, I was married but still felt so alone all of the time. It took a long time to realize it wasn't changing and although I don't have control over him I do have control over me. With the help of my family, therapists and SR I woke up!!
Everyone moves at a different pace and some people never move, it's all up to you...